Velocijakked: Episode 5

Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman on commentary.

Segment 1: Zack Ryder promo in-ring. Zack comes out with the Internet Title around his waist. He gets in the ring and says remember this? We cut to the first week of Velocijakked where he came out, made a challenge for anyone to face him for the Internet Championship and no-one responded. Zack says that no-one has ever taken him seriously. When he was on ECW, he had to deal with idiotic management. Then he tried to make himself into a star on Raw, but again had to deal with dumb management. (All the internet fans at this point are all excited thinking he's shooting because they are silly like that.) But Zack says he's always had one talent - Battle Royals. Maybe it was all those old Royal Rumble VHSes he used to watch. But now he got the chance he needed and he has a shot at the WWE Title. A real title. He lays down the Internet Championship in the middle of the ring and says it's going the way of the European Title. Because now he needs to be serious. John Cena out. Cena runs in and hugs Zack, congratulating him and saying how happy he is that he won last week. Zack thanks him but Cena keeps talking about how he's going to have to help train him and get him ready for Punk. CM Punk interrupts, once again sarcastically clapping. Punk grabs the mic... and points and laughs at Zack. And then he leaves. Cena tells Zack that he's in the main event tonight against William Regal.

Segment 2: Joe Hennig vs Drew McIntyre. William Regal accompanies Hennig. The re-packaged McGillicutty has clearly found new life under Regal's wing and pins McIntyre after a PerfectPlex.

Segment 3: Rey Mysterio in the locker room pacing. Sin Cara walks in and Rey asks where he's been all week. Sin Cara points to his leg, which has a knee brace. Rey says, "oh, because of the attack last week! Are you all better now?" he asks and in response Sin Cara points at Rey and himself, demonstrating that they're still a tag team. Rey says great and they get ready for their match which is next.

Segment 4: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara, still limping slightly, vs Zeke and JTG. Rey dominates in the early going over JTG and tags in Sin Cara but he's noticeably impacted by his knee. JTG gets the tag to Zeke and Zeke dominates Sin Cara for a while. Eventually Sin Cara gets a chance to make the hot tag to Rey after some flips but the Usos run out and beat down Rey, including throwing him into the barricade! Book-of-Ezekiel-End, 123 Zeke and JTG go over. Sin Cara lies in the ring still hurt from Zeke's finisher, unable to help Rey as the Usos stand tall over him on the outside.

Segment 5: Ace reporter Camacho in the back as he welcomes the victorious team of Zeke and JTG. Zeke stands with his arms crossed behind JTG who tells Regal that they're sick of being afterthoughts. JTG pulls off his normal jacket and puts on a white one, and re-introduces his bodyguard, Zeke, and himself as The JTG. Camacho is stunned by this as they walk away, his jaw literally dropping to the floor and smashing into hundreds of smaller marble pieces.

Segment 6: The Billion Dollar Man Ted DiBiase vs Jinder Mahal. William Regal accompanies DiBiase. The commentators do not mention at any point the terrible dumb feud between these two from Smackdown last year. DiBiase over with the Million Dollar Dream.

Segment 7: Zack Ryder in the back, pacing, just repeating "serious... serious... serious" to himself.

Segment 8: Sin Cara in the doctor's room in the back as Rey asks him how he's going. Sin Cara points at his leg and points at Rey! Rey says "no dawg, it wasn't my fault! The Usos attacked me holmes!" Sin Cara points at his eyes and shrugs.

Segment 9: Tyson Hart vs Heath Slater. William Regal, Joe Hennig and Ted DiBiase all accompany Hart. Hart over with the Sharpshooter and Regal and his young bucks get in the ring after the match to beat down Slater some more. As they do this Regal grabs a mic and proclaims that "as a proper British gentleman, he is above all of this '3MB' rubbish! These three fine young upstanding men are the future of this company and I am the present-" before he's interrupted by McIntyre and Mahal trying to make the save. He hits McIntyre with the microphone though and 3MB are all beaten down as the heels stand tall.

Segment 10: Ace reporter Camacho catches up with Zack Ryder before his big match in the main event. He asks him, "Are you serious, bro?" and Ryder says, "Yes." Camacho chuckles but then can't stop coughing before realising that the Chestburster from Alien is the reason why as it jumps out of his chest cavity and runs away.

Segment 11: Main event! Zack Ryder vs William Regal with Hart, DiBiase and Hennig. Those three by the way are not referred to by a stable name or anything to focus on their individual characteristics. Throughout the match Regal's men keep looking as if they're going to interfere but Ryder ignores them to focus on his match. They keep doing this until John Cena comes out and approaches them to tell them to stop. They attack Cena and their brawl spills into the ring, knocking over the ref who calls for the bell. All six men brawl and CM Punk runs out to try and join in. Cena throws out the young guys though and has a staredown with Punk. Punk flees the ring. Meanwhile Ryder is in the corner setting Regal up for the Rough Ryder. Cena turns around and sees Regal groggy in the middle of the ring, and picks him up and hits the AA! He does the hand things that he does to the crowd as his music hits. Ryder stands over Regal while Punk stands on the ramp as we fade to black.