Octopus Mask's POWER 15 and Un4tunate Four [Week 3]

Hello, and Welcome the 11/21/12-11/28/12 edition of the SWFantasy POWER 15!

Through painstaking research we have compiled a list of the 15 most powerful superstars of the week.
These rankings are made based on wins, loses, championship reigns and hunts, and overall impact that superstars make on a week to week basis. So without further Ado, here is YOUR POWER 15!!!

1. CM Punk (Velocijakked) WWE Champion Last week’s spot #1

CM Punk had a great week. He beat Zack Ryder with no problem at all, proving that he is at least the best in Long Island. And If Punk’s goal is to throw Cena off his game, he just may be succeeding. Cena flipped out and smashed up a car, and assuming it was just a rental, Punk got off scot free. With such a big match coming up and with Cena mad enough to start making some mistakes, Punk may be able to prove his moniker this week as the Best in The World.

2. Sheamus (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

We would normally see the Great White shining the Pearly Whites at some point early in the show. But this week, Sheamus was all business. Finally appearing in the contract signing Sheamus exacted some revenge on Ziggler with a big crucifix power bomb through a table. Sheamus dominates Ziggler on a week to week basis, but the true contest is at Survivor Series in a match that will decide the de-facto top dog on SNSD. In this no DQ match, both men are sure to scratch and claw their way to victory by any means necessary.

3. John Cena (Velocijakked) Last week’s rankings #4

John couldn’t be angrier, and couldn’t be more justified. The Straight Edge WWE Champion has made it his goal to make Cena as unhappy as possible and seems to be succeeding. Depending on how Survivor Series goes, Cena could Tumble or Top the rankings next week. This week, Cena beat Rey Mysterio in a classic match and had Punk running for the hills so for now, he secures a nice ranking on the Power 15.

4. Big Show (Axesex Heat) World Heavy Weight Champion Last week’s spot #3

Big Show took his first beating in SWFantasy this week after being laid low by the new #1 Contender Mark Henry. While Big Show may still be undefeated, it has to shake the spirits of the World Heavyweight Champion to be so humbled going into Survivor Series. That being said, The Dangerous Viper seems to have his focus drawn away this week after Big Show knocked him out of title contention. Thinning the field is great, but there is still one BIG obstacle for Big Show this Sunday.

5. Dolph Ziggler (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) WHC Money in the Bank holder Last week’s ranking #7

Dolph continues to take a beating every weak, but if you don’t take that into consideration, everything’s coming up Ziggler. Being In the SNSD main event of Survivor Series, Ziggler has shown he has his sights set high. And with the great competition in the ranks, Ziggler shows something special by rising to the top to challenge the Great White. We suspect Ziggler has something in mind by requesting a no DQ Match, but we will have to wait for Survivor Series to know what awaits Sheamus. Dolph has to be happy as well that his long time girl friend Vicky Guerrero is the new GM of Axesex Heat. Who knows what sorts of influence Dolph now wields behind the scenes?

6. Team Hell No - Kane and Daniel Bryan (Axesex Heat) WWE Tag Team Champions Last week’s spot # 5

Team Hell No took some time to build team work this week, and they seemed to be getting along. But the Tag Team Title race turned out a new #1 contender this week, and the Champs haven’t been in the ring in weeks. Kane and Bryan need to remember that they won’t have avatars to protect them from the Devious Team Rhodes Scholars. And in the real world, you cant just pump your stats up to 100.

7. Antonio Ceasaro (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) United States Champion Last week’s ranking #8

Ceasaro previewed his Survivor Series match this week on SNSD beating Khali after a poke to the eye. Khali now knows what to expect and will be angry. History has shown us an angry giant is a dangerous giant. But to Ceasaro’s credit, giving the big man a neutralizer is a herculean feat. While Ceasaro is by no means small, prior to this match we questioned his ability to put Khali away. Ceasaro should be confident going into this match, but one chop is all Khali needs.

8. Mark Henry (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #9

Mark Henry is the first man to put a dent in WHC The Big Show. Laying Big Show out this week on Axesex Heat sent a true message the The World’s Strongest Man is ready and focused on the challenge of the Big Show at Survivor Series. He will need to live up to that moniker as goliaths collide.

9. Ryback (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #8

We all know Ryback is hungry but now he is angry. Wait isn’t he always angry? Maybe, but now he has good reason. Mason Ryan may have crossed the wrong guy this week. We have a feeling that Ryback isn’t the kind of man to just shrug off a loss like Mason Ryan gave him this week. But, until Ryback strikes back, he slips a little on the Power 15 Momentum Meter this week.

10. Randy Orton (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #10

Randy Orton took a bad tumble this week. He was given an opportunity to redeem his performance two weeks ago and he couldn’t get the job done thanks to The Big Show’s interference. Loosing out on future title shots is a real career staller. Who knows when another big chance can come along for the Viper now? Orton’s addition to the 10 man Survivor Series traditional tag is sure to energize an already stacked matchup, but you have to believe that Orton was looking to stay at the main event level going into Survivor Series.

11. Uso Brothers (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking #12

The Usos got the match they were looking for. Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio will clash with the Pacific Warriors at Survivor Series. This week, the Usos tried once again to put Sin Cara out of his misery and smashed him through a table. On top of that, Rey must be feeling the pain from last night’s classic bout with John Cena. Neither man took it easy on the other, and you can be sure the Usos were watching for any hint of weakness in the Mysterious King. Our money is on the Usos and that is reflected in the Rankings this week.

12. Mason Ryan (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 14

Mason Ryan took a leap of faith this week by cheating to pass over Ryback for an IC title match. We are sure he wasn’t expecting the addition of the Ravenous Ryback to the Intercontinental Championship picture, but, I wouldn’t say crisis averted for the Welsh Weasle Ryan. Ryback is sure to get revenge. If we were Mason, we might call craft services for some help, because you’re going to have to feed Ryback something, and he’s coming for Mason to get his fill.

13. Kofi Kingston (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Intercontinental Champion Last week’s ranking #11

Swimming with two giants, Kofi might be in a little over his head. Mason Ryan showed the world his true colors this week picking up a tainted victory over Ryback. But Kofi doesn’t seem to realize the shady character he is dealing with. Let’s hope Kofi watches the tape of this match, or that someone backstage has the decency to warn him. Also, while Mason Ryan may have shaken the hornets’ nest by cheating to beat Ryback, Kofi needs to remember that Ryback’s ultimate goal right now is get his meathook into the Intercontinental Championship. Kofi may be the holder of a coveted title. But it’s hard to imagine him holding it for long.

14. Rhodes Scholars (Axesex Heat) Last week’s ranking N/R

While Team Rhodes Scholars may have only won their #1 Contendership for the WWE Tag Team Championships by count out, they are still in line for a shot at the prestigious titles. Having spent the evening enraging the future Axesex Heat GM however may not have been such a great idea. But with a locked up Tag Team Title match going into Survivor Series, and a seemingly distracted pair in Hell No being the only thing standing between Rhodes Scholars and the Copper twins, things are looking pretty smart for Rhodes and Sandow.

15. Ezekiel Jackson (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking 15

One of the downsides of dominating the competition is that it paints a target on your back. Big Zeke continued his winning streak this week, beating McGillicutty in a competitive match. But, Regal, who has claimed all along to know just how to deal with Jackson, left Zeke counting his teeth after a knee trembler and a shot with the knucks. If Regal can put the big man down, we might just hand over this ranking spot to the Black Pool Brawler in only a weeks’ time.

The Un4tunate Four
In addition to the POWER 15, the Un4tunate Four is a list of 4 superstars who might want to rethink their career choices.

1. Tensai (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

Losing to Ryback last week is one thing, but losing to Alex Riley is another. Otunga was right, Tensai needs to snap out of it before that Japanese writing is translated to English and it says loser all over his face. I’d Sakamoto may have to start carrying a handkerchief for the big Americanese Monster to dry his post match tears in coming weeks.

2. Yoshi Tatsu (Axesex Heat) last week’s ranking N/R

Yoshi came back with a new gimmick this week. But to no avail. All it took was a can of beer to knock the Faux-Red-Neck out of his Faux-Leather boots. Hopefully a strong performance in his survivor series match can wipe the slate clean for Yoshi.

3. Tyson Kidd (Velocijakked) last week’s ranking U4 #3

Not only did Tyson lose to the Usos this week, he also was shown up by the veteran Regal who accomplished something Tyson and his friends couldn’t for the last 3 weeks. Regal may be right, Tyson was certainly wrong, and salt in the wounds means a painful week for Kidd.

4. Jerry the King Lawler (Axesex Heat) last week’s ranking N/R

Is it fair to put a commentator on this list? Well remember, Jerry Lawler is not just a commentator. As an active member of the WWE Roster, Jerry Lawler has honor to uphold. Barrett took liberties with the Legacy of Lawler this week and Jerry should consider strongly standing up to Barrett. In words or in actions, Jerry Lawler needs to respond.

Thanks for reading this week’s POWER 15. Check back next week for updated rankings and commentary!

Saturday Night Snapdragon: Episode 3

COLE and MAN 64 on commentary

recap of last week
dolph gets bro kicked in the head by sheamus
and is declared the winner in a match that never happened

cole says that gm otunga has made dolph vs sheamus official for survivor series
tonight in the main event we will have the contract signing

us title match
KHALI vs ANTONIO CESARO us champion
khali still can’t bend over
but cesaro with a thumb to the eye
neutralizer 123 cesaro retains

backstage GM OTUNGA drinking coffee
TENSAI in with SAKAMOTO
otunga talks about when tensai first showed up
and how devastating he was
and now he seems to be on a bad streak
he says try and win this one
your match is next

ALEX RILEY already in the ring
TENSAI with SAKAMOTO vs RILEY
tensai splash misses
rollup 123 riley over
OTUNGA is on the ramp shaking his head
he looks disgusted
tensai is angry and grabs sakamoto
but he decides not to beat him up
tensai looks like he’s going to cry and just goes to the back

MIZ out for MIZ TV
he talks about survivor series and tradition
and traditional elimination matches
and says it will be TEAM DEL RIO vs TEAM BRODUS CLAY at survivor series
he’s introducing the team captain del rio
DEL RIO OUT with RICARDO
del rio introduces his team
FANDANGO dances out
he gives LILLIAN another rose
del rio mentions that time they gave a note to rosa
he says that was no “smoochy smoochy”
what?
that was all business because he is employing the services of this team
EPICO and PRIMO out with ROSA

cole wonders who will be on BRODUS CLAY’s team

video package
that guy who looks like sin cara is flipping around
still has a cowboy hat on
and cowboy boots
this week he throws a lasso around his opponent
he yells YEEEEHA
the graphic says SIN CARL
NEXT WEEK

CHRISTIAN vs CURT HAWKINS
killswitch
frog splash 123 christian over

backstage KOFI standing
MASON RYAN in
he tells kofi he is impressed with his work and would like a shot at the IC title
kofi tells him any time
RYBACK in
he says feed me intercontinental title
gm otunga in
he makes a number one contenders match for the IC title for tonight

kofi on commentary
#1 contenders match for the ic title
RYBACK vs MASON RYAN
meathook
mason turns to kofi motions for him to come to the ring apron
kofi looks confused but gets up and walks over
the ref tells kofi to go back to his seat
mason reaches in his trunks and pulls out what looks like brass knucks
ref is still distracted by kofi
mason tosses the knucks to ryback who catches them
the ref turns around and sees ryback with the knucks
DQ mason ryan over
ryback is furious but ryan escapes before he can beat him up
kofi never saw what happened so he’s unaware that mason is shady
regardless mason ryan is the new #1 contender

main event
contract signing
GM OTUNGA in the ring
DOLPH out
SHEAMUS out
he says he wants to make sure that dolph can’t win in some pathetic fashion
he wants no disqualification
otunga says dolph wanted that too so he already took care of it
the match will be no disqualification
sheamus signs first
dolph takes his time and then signs
he puts out his hand to ask sheamus for a handshake
sheamus refuses and turns around
dolph tries for the zig zag
but sheamus counters with white noise
he looks at the table
grabs dolph over his head
cross toss through the table
the end

SWF Survivor Series: The Card

Survivor Series card (not in match order):

WWE Title: CM Punk (c) vs John Cena (If Cena loses, he can't have another WWE Title match)

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs The Usos

William Regal vs Ezekiel Jackson

Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler (No DQ)

Team Del Rio (Alberto Del Rio, Ricardo Rodriguez, Epico, Primo and Fandango) vs Team Brodus Clay (Brodus Clay, Randy Orton, Santino Marella, Christian and Yoshi Tatsu)

IC Title: Kofi Kingston (c) vs Mason Ryan

World Title: Big Show (c) vs Mark Henry

Divas Title: Layla (c) w/Tamina vs Kaitlyn

Tag Titles: Kane and Daniel Bryan (c) vs Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes

PRE-SHOW - US Title: Antonio Cesaro (c) vs The Great Khali

Velocijakked: Episode 3

Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman on commentary.

Segment 1: CM Punk promo in-ring with Paul Heyman. Punk says that he's just one week away from an entire year as WWE Champion. Think about all the stuff that happens in that time-span, he says. I get another year closer to the Hall of Fame. Vince gets another year closer to retirement, hopefully. And after Sunday, John Cena gets another year closer to having his entire career under my control. I decide if he gets another title shot - and obviously, he'll never have one again, because I'm holding onto this belt forever. I'm going to be a better champion than Cena ever was! Cena runs to the ring angrily after the beatdown last week and Paul Heyman gets in between the two. He tells Cena to calm down because he clearly didn't read the fine print of the contract that they signed backstage - because contract signings on TV are dumb. If either man lays a hand on the other, they forfeit their match and in Punk's case, the WWE title. But CM Punk is a man of integrity and would never do that sort of thing. Heyman says that instead, each man tonight will pick an opponent for the other. Punk says he's already made his choice. Tonight's main event will be John Cena... vs Rey Mysterio. Cena looks confused as Punk walks to the back.

Segment 2: Cena walking backstage, he bumps into Rey. He asks Rey if he knew about their match tonight and Rey says he didn't, he was concentrating on getting ready for his match with Sin Cara against the Usos at Survivor Series. The two shake hands.

Segment 3: Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase vs The Usos. The commentators discuss Kidd and DiBiase getting along because of their mutual interests - they hate Ezekiel Jackson and were dismissive of William Regal. They're not quite as cohesive of a unit as the Usos are though who look great as they win and roll on to Survivor Series.

Segment 4: Michael McGillicutty in the locker room getting ready when Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase walk in. They wish him luck with his match tonight against Zeke but say if they couldn't take him down, no-one can.

Segment 5: Ezekiel Jackson vs Michael McGillicutty. The commentators put over Zeke's wins in the past two weeks over Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase. The match goes similarly and eventually Zeke's strength is once again too much, as he hits the Book-of-Ezekiel-End and gets the 123. He celebrates but from behind William Regal attacks Zeke! Zeke crawls around trying to recover but Regal hits the Knee Trembler and then pulls out the brass knuckles and knocks out Zeke. McGillicutty, who's crawled up the ramp at this point, looks back at Regal standing tall as Kidd and DiBiase also come out to watch. Regal grabs a mic and says "if no-one else is going to take care of this imbecile, I guess I'll have to do it at Survivor Series."

Segment 6: Cena backstage when Zack Ryder walks up. Ryder says that he really didn't get a chance to fight last week and he really wants a shot at Punk. Cena clearly isn't sure, umming and ahhing. Ryder says please John, gimme a chance, I can help you out, I mean I'm the Internet Champion! Cena chuckles and says if you want a shot at Punk, fine, you can face him tonight. Ryder jumps up and down in joy as he runs to the locker room to get ready.

Segment 7: We head to the ring for the new talk show segment, 'Camacho Comes Alive!'. He introduces the show and points us to the moderately priced Jeritron 20, which is sitting on a stool, where in black and white we see grainy clips of Heath Slater singing. The audio is mostly crackling noises. Slater is his guest and he asks where Camacho got that footage from, ejecting the VHS out of the base of the Jeritron 20 and running away, screaming "OUR SINGLE ISN'T READY YET BAYBAY". Camacho shrugs and dissolves into a pool of metallic liquid like in Terminator.

Segment 8: In our 9/10 oclock spot, CM Punk vs Zack Ryder. John Cena is out first to be on commentary. Cena is slightly angry while on commentary and this comes to the forefront when we get near the end of the match. Punk is dominating Ryder for the majority of the contest before getting on a bit of a roll. He goes for the Broski Boot but misses, and Punk gets up. Cena stands up from his chair to yell at Punk and Punk yells back. Cena moves towards the ring, drawing the referee's attention, and Ryder rolls up Punk for what looks like it could've been a three! Ryder goes over to Cena to tell him to sit down and gets caught by Punk who hits the GTS but thinks that isn't enough and locks in the Anaconda Vise, forcing Ryder to tap. Punk grabs his title and backs up the ramp as Cena stands at the side of the ring closest to the ramp staring, with Ryder in pain in the background.

Segment 9: Punk in the parking lot still trying to leave with his title, as ace reporter Camacho approaches him. Punk says "aren't you a liquid now?" as he gets in his bus. Camacho becomes self-aware, realising that he is a replicant and runs off screen screaming.

Segment 10: Sin Cara vs JTG. Sin Cara puts on an impressive performance in defeating JTG, who can't seem to buy a win. After the match the Usos run out and attack Sin Cara though and for the second time, put him through a table. Rey runs out after they have done this, clearly mid-way through getting his gear ready for his match later tonight, and can only watch as the Usos escape through the crowd. He yells "NOOOOOOO DAWG" to the sky as the top-down camera spirals upwards and away.

Segment 11: Main event! John Cena vs Rey Mysterio. This gets 20-25 minutes and is a PPV-quality match. CM Punk comes out a few minutes into the contest to join the commentators and acts just like a normal commentator, ignoring questions about Cena. For your finish, Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but when bouncing off the ropes near the commentators, Punk grabs his foot to try and trip him up. Rey rolls Cena up for a 12no. Rey sends Cena onto the second rope and Punk tries to hold Cena down for the 619 but Cena escapes and grabs Rey as he swings around to kick him, AA, 123 Cena over. Punk scowls and walks up the ramp as Cena grabs a mic. He says he doesn't want to wait until Survivor Series. Punk says "you can't lay a hand on me!" but Cena says "I know. But you didn't say anything about a chair." Cena runs out of the ring, grabs a chair and chases after Punk. We cut backstage to see Punk getting in the bus and yelling at the driver to go. Cena with the chair runs straight at the door, swinging the chair and smashing the door window as the bus starts to pull away. He continues to hit the windows on the side of the bus as the bus eventually gets away.

Octopus Mask's POWER 15 and Un4tunate Four [Week 2]

Hello, and welcome to the 11/14/12-11/20/12 edition of the SWFantasy POWER 15!
Through painstaking research we have compiled a list of the 15 most powerful superstars of the week.
These rankings are made based on wins, loses, championship reigns and hunts, and overall impact that superstars make on a week to week basis. Keep in mind that this weeks rankings were forced to take into account the preemption of Axesex Heat. So without further Ado, here is YOUR POWER 15!!!

CM Punk (Velocijakked) WWE Champion Last week’s spot #2

Poor CM Punk. It must feel rotten to be so hated as WWE Champion that you can’t even find a tag team partner. With that being said, Punk ended the night on Velocijakked leaving LI Iced Z and the mighty John Cena laying in the ring. Chalk up a win for the champ where mind games are concerned. 350 days as champion, sneaking in a stipulation to put his biggest competition away for good, and win or lose, physically dominating John Cena puts Punk in the top spot this week.

Sheamus (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

Sheamus continues to dominate Saturday Night Snap Dragon this week, both by physically manhandling Kurt Hawkins (Hurts Doughnut anyone?) and by fusing Zigglers face to that briefcase in the main event. Although Ziggler continues to throw mud in Sheamus’ eye, a loss is a loss. And though Sheamus ended the night more red in the face than usual, we expect the satisfaction of a Brogue Kick to the bug in Sheamus’ soup has left him feeling pretty good.

Big Show (Axesex Heat) World Heavy Weight Champion Last week’s spot #1

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Big Show slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back to the top next week? Stay tuned!

John Cena (Velocijakked) Last week’s rankings #5

We aren’t sure what is worse; not being able to find a tag team partner, or being forced to deputize the lowly Internet Champion. What happens when you bring a bro to a chair fight? CM Punk showed us this week, by knocking Cena senseless. Cena has shown himself to be a gambling man over the last couple weeks, but if his bet on Zack Ryder is any indication, John may want to fold this hand before betting it all on Survivor Series.

Team Hell No - Kane and Daniel Bryan (Axesex Heat) WWE Tag Team Champions Last week’s spot #3

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Team Hell No slips a little in the rankings. Will they be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Antonio Cesaro (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) United States Champion Last week’s ranking #8

Cesaro has been a strong champion, but Khali has been a wild card for years. Sometimes you get the Punjabi Playboy, and sometimes you get the Punjabi Nightmare. Cesaro had a nightmare of his own this week, but giving up a pinfall to the biggest man on SNSD is nothing to be ashamed of. Either way, the U.S. title scene has no lack of challenges; now, or in the near future. Just by holding the title, Cesaro is proving his mettle.

Dolph Ziggler (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) WHC Money in the Bank holder Last week’s ranking #10

Dolph ended this week’s SNSD looking a little black and blue. Black from Sheamus’ boot and blue from the paint rubbing off of the WHC MITB briefcase. Week after week though, we have seen that taking a beating makes little difference to Dolph so long as his plans come to fruition. If Dolph’s strategy is to get under Sheamus’ skin, then a technical victory is the way to go. But, Ziggler is treading on thin ice with Sheamus, and he will need to score a definitive victory soon to be a real threat. Don’t forget either, it is very possible that Vickie Guerrero (Dolph’s Girl Friend) could become GM of Axesex Heat with a victory in the GM tag team triple threat, making Dolph’s likelihood of a successful MITB cash-in a real possibility.

Ryback (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #11

Tensai thought he could pick up some momentum by picking a fight with the Meat hook Mauler Ryback. But like a bowl of Soba in a Tokyo noodle shop, Tensai left Ryback screaming “Feed Me More!” Who can stop Ryback’s devouring of SWFantasy’s roster?

Mark Henry (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #6

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Mark Henry slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Randy Orton (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #7

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means The Viper slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Kofi Kingston (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Intercontinental Champion Last week’s ranking #13

Kofi has won two matches in a row now. But then again, Alex Riley and a practically predecapitated Kurt Hawkins are not prime competition. If Kofi keeps on a winning streak it will only mean good news for the status of his championship, but when you face so many low men on the totem pole, can you ever really be satisfied? And, what happens if you might lose to one of these clowns? Mason Ryan could be the challenge Kofi needs, and if the last two weeks are any indication, the two are on a collision course.

Uso Brothers (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking #14

The Usos have a momentum edge over their current tag team terror targets, Rey and Sin Cara. A win over 3MB gives credence to the Usos’ claim as a dominant team on Velocijakked. Mysterio and Cara won their matches this week too, but after the hurting the Usos put on Rey and Sin Cara last week, we have to give the edge to the Usos. You can be sure that the Luchadors will meet the Usos in a Mexican Standoff somewhere down the line.

Fandango (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #15

Fandango still hasn’t had a match, but that hasn’t stopped him from slam dancing all over Brodus Clay’s face. We still aren’t sure what the connection is between Fandango and Alberto Del Rio, but the impact of their relationship is apparent. The real question is, when invited to dance, will Fandango or Brodus be the lead?

Mason Ryan (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Mason Ryan has had a slow start since making his way to the WWE. But in SWFantasy, he appears to have decided the time is right to make his move. Last week, Kofi beat Alex Riley. This week, Mason Ryan beat Alex Riley. And both weeks it has been clear Mason Ryan is watching Kofi Closely. Kofi must be feeling the Welsh Watchman’s breath on his neck. Could Kofi’s first big challenge as IC champ be waiting in the wings?

Ezekiel Jackson (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking N/R

A surefire way to identify big players on a brand is to look at men that other superstars aspire to take down. Ted DiBiasi and Tyson Kidd have both fallen to Ezekiel Jackson in the last two weeks. Both men are angry and hungry for retribution, but if Big Zeke can hold them at bay, he could push his way up the roster. William Regal seems to think he knows the secret to toppling the Guianese Gargantuan, but something tells us Zeke welcomes the challenge.

The Un4tunate Four
In addition to the POWER 15, the Un4tunate Four is a list of 4 superstars who might want to rethink their career choices.

Zack Ryder (Velocijakked) Internet Champion Last week’s ranking U4 #3

Another week, and no one steps up to the plate. The Internet Championship can’t get any traction. Even worse, a main event embarrassment by CM Punk isn’t doing Zack and favors. When Cena scraped the bottom of the barrel, Zack was all he could find. And a chair to back means another bad week for Zack. Who can unseat the new Un4tunate #1???

Curt Hawkins (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

After last week’s demolition by Ryback, Curt may have thought the secret was to feed himself more! But a cup of coffee would probably have been a better choice to wash down that doughnut than a Brogue Kick. Also, a loss to Kofi Kingston isn’t doing you any favors Curt. It might be time to brush the powdered sugar off your chin and rethink your game plan.

Tyson Kidd (Velocijakked) last week’s ranking U4 #2

After being beat by Big Zeke last week, Tyson took a respectable, but still momentum killing loss to Rey Mysterio this week. And now, Regal’s offer of advice has turned taunting instead of friendly. If Tyson can get over the “told ya’ so,” treatment that the smug Regal is sure to have waiting, he still might be able to learn a thing or two.

Tensai (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Tensai chose Ryback to make a statement last week. Do you think he regrets it now? Yeah, us too. Jumping Ryback last week, Tensai got his meat hooked… uh, err. And this week, Tensai was flattened in a straight up one on one match. No wonder Tensai dropped the “Lord.” The only thing he is lord of these days is losing.

Thanks for reading this week’s POWER 15. Check back next week for updated rankings and commentary!
Octopus Mask.

Saturday Night Snapdragon: Episode 2

COLE and MAN 64 on commentary

recap of last week’s main event
dolph screws sheamus out of the whc

earlier today video package
SHEAMUS is backstage angry looking for dolph ziggler
he punches a door open but it’s just CURT HAWKINS
sheamus asks him where dolph is
hawkins is eating a doughnut and doesn’t want to talk with his mouth full
he puts his finger up like he’s telling sheamus to wait a second
but bro kick to hawkins

GM OTUNGA and DOLPH backstage
otunga tells dolph that sheamus is looking for him
dolph says he’s not worried and he’s easy to find
the door opens and dolph jumps like he’s scared
but it’s just SANTINO
dolph blames it on caffeine and leaves looking shook up
and says “I’m switching to decaf”

TENSAI vs RYBACK
meathook
shellshocked
123 ryback over
cole mentions how tensai can’t get a win anymore

BOY #1 backstage with MIZ
he says he will have no problem tonight in his tag team match
he says he could win the us title any time he wants it
he’s just busy with other things right now
like being awesome

ANTONIO CESARO and MIZ vs KHALI and SANTINO
this sure is a match
scf no
cobra to miz
punjabi plunge to cesaro
123 khali and santino over

video package
same guy as last week
it looks like sin cara
with a cowboy hat
this week he also has on boots and spurs
he does a flip off of a horse
and yells YEEEEEHA again
who is this guy?

backstage SHEAMUS is still looking for dolph
otunga in
sheamus looks mad but otunga warns him that if he bro kicks him there will be serious consequences
sheamus wants dolph tonight
otunga says fine
tonight’s main event will be sheamus vs dolph

KOFI out
video recap of hawkins getting bro kicked with a mouthful of doughnuts
hawkins already at ringside holding his jaw
KOFI IC champ vs HAWKINS
non title match
sos
tip
123 kofi over
MASON RYAN out just like last week
this time at ringside to slow clap kofi
kofi just walks backstage past him puzzled

MASON RYAN vs ALEX RILEY
ryanaroo
123 ryan over
kofi watches the monitor backstage and wonders what mason ryan is up to

backstage boy #1 with del rio
he says tonight you are going to see the cha cha cha
and forget all about the funkasaurus
almost like he is extinct

in the ring
lights out
FANDANGO’s music hits
he dances to the ring and takes a rose out of his mouth
and gives it to LILLIAN
he grabs her and dances
BRODUS CLAY’s theme interrupts
brodus out
fandango and lillian are still dancing even with no music
he goes after fandango
but fandango spins lillian in front of him and uses her as a shield
del rio and ricardo out to jump brodus
3 man beatdown on brodus

sheamus walking

main event
but there’s like 7 minutes left
DOLPH vs SHEAMUS
sheamus out
he grabs a mic and talks about how close he was last week to regaining his whc
he knows dolph is scared
but he says dolph has nothing to be afraid of
dolph’s music hits but no dolph
dolph tries to hit sheamus from behind with the briefcase
but sheamus sees him and bro kicks the case into dolph’s face
gm otunga out
he says sheamus never even gave dolph a chance
so this match is still official and he’s awarding it to dolph
cole and man 64 argue that the bell never even rang
but otunga tells the ref to raise dolph’s hand
he raises and unconscious dolph’s hand which flops right back down to the ground
your winner dolph ziggler
sheamus looks mad again
the end

Velocijakked: Episode 2

Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman on commentary.

Segment 1: John Cena promo in-ring. Cena talks about how he always says that every match is vital to his career - but this time, it actually is, because if he doesn't win, he can't have another WWE Title opportunity. He's completely put himself in the control of CM Punk. Cena says he respects Punk's reign but he does not respect how Punk has accomplished it. Punk interrupts. He doesn't say a word though, and just stands in front of Cena holding up the belt. Cena asks if Punk thinks he really is the best in the world. Punk keeps holding up the belt. Cena asks if he thinks he could beat Punk right now. Punk keeps holding up the belt as Cena starts taking off his shirt as if he's about to attack Punk. Paul Heyman gets off of commentary and says that his client won't be talking to Cena tonight because he doesn't believe that Cena's worthy of speaking to a man of such greatness. Heyman says that Punk will let his wrestling do the talking tonight, because each man will pick a partner in a tag match in Velocijakked's main event tonight. Cena says "straight up?" and leaves.

Segment 2: Rey Mysterio vs Tyson Kidd. McMahon says that Sin Cara is still on his way to the arena and we see the Usos watching the match in the back. Mid-match, William Regal walks out onto the ramp with a fold-out chair. Kidd tries to be a high-flyer during the match to compete with Rey but keeps missing his big moves. He eventually locks in the Dungeon Lock and nearly gets Rey to tap but roll-through onto the second rope, 619, and Rey drops the dime to get the 123. Regal sits in his chair with a smug grin as Kidd grimaces in pain while Rey celebrates.

Segment 3: Zack Ryder promo in-ring. For the second week in a row, he proclaims himself to be the second-Best in the World with his Internet Championship and once again asks for any challenger to come out and face him. Anyone at all. "Are you serious, bro?" he asks. The lights turn off, then on, and off, as if Ryder was waiting for a few days and nights. He eventually returns to the back.

Segment 4: Sin Cara arrives at the arena via a series of backflips. Ace reporter Camacho tries to backflip with him to ask a question but goes off-target and falls off a loading bay into a truck labeled "HORSE MANURE".

Segment 5: Ted DiBiase Jr. vs Ezekiel Jackson. Much like Zeke's match last week, DiBiase is strong at times but not strong enough to overpower the former ECW Champion, as Zeke gets the win with a side slam he calls the Book-of-Ezekiel-End.

Segment 6: Backstage, a sore DiBiase bumps into Tyson Kidd. "You too?", asks Kidd. William Regal walks in and says, "You silly buggers. You're never going to defeat a Goliath like Zeke with that sort of offense. And Tyson - you can't beat a little boy like Rey Mysterio at his own game. I can show you how to get back to winning, gents." DiBiase says "How would you know, old man?" and walks off, while Kidd looks at Regal for a second longer before leaving as well.

Segment 7: Sin Cara vs Heath Slater. Rey isn't at ringside with Sin Cara as McMahon tells us that Rey left early to catch a flight home and once again, the Usos are watching backstage. As the match starts, Slater asks on the mic for the house lights to be turned down and does a sound check. He complains about the production work and says to Sin Cara, "I can't work in this environment, bay bay." Sin Cara shrugs and does some flips and wins.

Segment 8: We see CM Punk leaving the locker room smiling evilly. He appears to have chosen his partner for tonight's tag match!

Segment 9: Michael McGillicutty vs JTG. McGillicutty is able to have his way with JTG - not in the biblical sense - and easily gets the win.

Segment 10: John Cena backstage as he attempts to find himself a tag partner. He appears to be having difficulty but sees Zack Ryder walking around with his head down and his arms to his sides with sad piano music playing. Cena sighs and asks Zack if he wants to be his partner tonight. Zack acts like an excited puppy at the idea, saying "Can I? Can I Can I Can I John? Can I be your partner?" He sprints to the locker room to get ready.

Segment 11: The Usos vs 3MB's Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal. The Usos have excellent teamwork and use some nefarious heel tactics combined with tag team moves to get the win. They grab a mic after the match and ask if Rey and Sin Cara saw that. They say "No, they didn't, because they already left! They didn't even watch each other's matches! We are the only REAL tag team on Velocijakked and we want to prove it at Survivor Series!"

Segment 12: 3MB are talking backstage when ace reporter Camacho walks in and asks about their recent performance. Slater says that they really killed it in Sacramento last Friday and they were the hot new jam in Petaluma on Saturday, bay bay! Mahal gets on his hands and knees behind Camacho and Slater pushes him over, causing Camacho to fall over and down a nearby well.

Segment 13: Main event! John Cena and Zack Ryder out first as the face side of tag team contest. CM Punk then out as we await his mystery tag partner. Punk goes to the announce table to talk with Heyman privately as the faces wait in the ring. Justin Roberts repeatedly says, "and his partner!" but Punk runs into the ring with a chair and hits Zack Ryder in the back! Cena turns around and takes a shot to the gut followed by one to the back! Laying on his front, Punk just wails on Cena with the chair as Heyman runs in with a mic and screams "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, CENA! YOU WANT A SHOT AT THE CHAMP? THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE OTHER THAN GO FOR THE TITLE!" McMahon eventually has to call security out to escort Punk away. As they drag him up the ramp, Heyman puts a mic up to Punk's mouth and he says, "See you at Survivor Series, John!"

Octopus Mask's POWER 15 and Un4tunate Four [Week 1]

Hello, and welcome to this season’s kickoff edition of the SWFantasy POWER 15!

Through painstaking research we have compiled a list of the 15 most powerful superstars of the week.
These rankings are made based on wins, loses, championship reigns and hunts, and overall impact that superstars make on a week to week basis. So without further Ado, here is YOUR POWER 15!!!

#1 - Big Show (Axesex Heat) World Heavy Weight Champion Last week’s spot N/R

Making appearances on both Axesex Heat and Saturday Night Snapdragon this week, Big Show dominated the news in WWE. The win/loss count tells the whole story here. The World heavy weight Champion Big Show had 4 victories this week!  Beating Justin Gabriel and Kurt Hawkins on one night is a feat to be sure, but Big Show cemented his reputation as a fighting champion by defending his title twice this week. Big Show pushed Sheamus to the limit and out of the title hunt by retaining the WHC in a rematch.  And despite a no contest, Show retained his title against Randy Orton as well. While Sheamus and Orton may have claim to rematches, this might be the best single week for any Champion we can remember.

#2 - CM Punk (Velocijakked) WWE Champion Last week’s spot N/R

Being the WWE Champion for 343 days is the stuff of legend. And while WWE Champion CM Punk may not have had the fighting record of WHC Big Show this week, Punk isn’t one to turn down a fight. Punk accepted the challenge of John Cena (And used his clout to chose a truly controversial stipulation). Few men carry enough respect to have WWE CEO Vince McMahon at their beckon call, but the WWE Champ showed this week that top WWE Brass should take him seriously, and he can grab hold of any twist or turn they throw at him.

#3 - Team Hell No - Kane and Daniel Bryan (Axesex Heat) WWE Tag Team Champions Last week’s spot N/R

The Tag Champs are in trouble. 3 teams are gunning for the top spot in the world of tag, and no one knows how much longer these misfits will be able to hold it together. So why, oh why are they in the #3 spot? Because, when these guys put their differences aside, they are a frighteningly effective force for destruction. With Tag teams in the mash-up match spotlight this week on Axesex Heat and the return of a ferocious Uso Brothers team promising to dominate their peers on Velocijakked, we got a taste of the competition to come for Team Hell No. It’s been years since the Tag division was so hot, but can Hell No keep their cool?!?!

#4 - Sheamus (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Sheamus couldn’t pick up the victory against Big Show this week to bring the WHC to SNSD, but he made a valiant effort. If it wasn’t for Ziggler’s interference Sheamus might be in the top 3 this week, but SWFantasy Superstars have to roll with the punches, and Ziggler put up a serious roadblock to Sheamus’s plans. Sheamus has a strong claim to another rematch, but the likelihood of Axesex Heat’s frighteningly good looking top brass risking the title again seems slim. With the title picture on SNSD heating up, no matter where Sheamus turns his focus, he is sure to have a big impact.

#5 - John Cena (Velocijakked) Last week’s rankings N/R

John Cena wasn’t dominating in a match this week, but big gambles can have big payoffs. John agreed to put something huge on the line in what will for sure be one of the biggest matches of the year. For that, we reward Cena with the #5 spot. But don’t forget, if John loses, and waives his right to any future title shots as CM Punk made Cena agree to do, Cena could be taking a mighty tumble from the top sometime very soon. With Cena falling off the titlehunt-free bandwagon, will his addiction for gold be sated?? Or will CM Punk force some cold turkey treatment on the 16 time Champion Cena?

#6 - Mark Henry (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot N/R

Few men have the tools to make an impact like Mark Henry did this week. Inserting himself into the World Heavyweight Championship match on Axesex Heat put Henry back on the map. Henry is a giant amongst giants and will have to smash a few skulls and grab the spotlight to keep this spot on the Power 15 next week. Perhaps he can find an ally in a new GM to legitimize his interest in the WHC. But his domination over the main event of Axesex Heat and his daring to attract the ire of Show and Orton impressed us enough for the #6 spot.

#7 - Randy Orton (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot N/R

While Randy Orton didn’t win his WHC match this week on Axesex Heat, he is still the likely #1 contender due to a no contest ruling. As Big Show’s hand picked challenger for his World Heavy Weight Championship, Randy has been proven to be the number one threat on Axesex Heat. And who better to name that threat than Big Show himself? But Mark Henry got the better of Randy this week, and has clearly inserted himself into this title picture. Randy will be coming back with a vengeance next week, to hold onto his #1 contender’s spot, and to fend off whatever devious plans Henry might have in mind. But, is it too late for Randy to keep only himself and the Big Show in the picture?

#8 - Antonio Cesaro (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) United States Champion Last week’s ranking N/R

Cesaro has had one of the strongest US Championship reigns of the past several years. Certainly, his career is a blank slate for many fans, but competitive matches and dominant performances highlight promising potential and a hunger to prove himself. The struggle for #1 contendership has thrust the US Championship into the spotlight of SNSD and may pump some new life into a classic title. Khali is a former World Champion, but hasn’t had the best record in the past several years, but he has earned a match against Cesaro which could turn ugly.

#9 - Pretty Fly Layla and Tamina (Axesex Heat) Co-Diva’s Champion last week’s ranking N/R

Dominating the former champion Eve and taking the gold proved to be an easy task for Layla, but what will Eve and Kaitlyn say to her and the Feaux Blond Bomb Shell when they have a chance to regroup? Talk about making a splash in the rankings Tamina!

#10 - Dolph Ziggler (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) WHC Money in the Bank holder Last week’s ranking N/R

Defeating Christian (A former WHC) is no easy feat. But to top it off, Ziggler made an undeniable impact on the WHC match between Big Show and Sheamus. While Sheamus left Ziggler laying unconscious in the ring, the Show off is no stranger to a beating. Coming back for more is Ziggler’s strong suit, and clearly he will not let his giant peers leave him out of the top spot. Don’t forget, pending next week’s #1 contender’s match for the Tag Titles, If Vickie’s team wins, Dolph could have a Great ally in the Axesex heat GM, where Ziggler’s Money in the Bank Briefcase holds the potential to be a bomb shell.

#11 - Ryback (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Ryback is a man of few words, but great deeds. Defeating Kurt Hawkins wasn’t much of a surprise, but the mysterious and dangerous Tensai saw just how great Ryback can be when his sneak attack was shellshocked. No one messes with Ryback. No one.

#12 - Tie, Primetime Players/Primo & Epico/Rhodes Scholars (Axesex Heat) Last week’s ranking N/R

3 teams? What’s going on here? Well these three teams had similar weeks. A Mash-up match night left each team with a one on one loss and victory each against opposing members of other teams. Each team has earned a #1 contender’s match shot for next week in a triple threat match. As they scramble to find potential GM candidates to be in their corner to fulfil the requirements of the match, they should also be preparing for team Hell No, a mash up in its own right of two former World Champions who don’t seem keen on letting the belts go.

#13 - Kofi Kingston (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Intercontinental Champion Last week’s ranking N/R

Kofi defeated Alex Riley this week. Whats next for Kofi? Victories are part of being champion, but a memorable champion brings more to the table. Can Kofi capture some of the magic that makes the Intercontinental Championship one of the most legendary belts in the business? Or will he take second fiddle to the US title which had an exciting week of action?

#14 - Uso Brothers (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking N/R

The Usos left surefire hall-of-famer Rey Mysterio and his partner Sin Cara laying in the ring this week, and they did it with a devastating table splash. The Usos showed this week they are feeling EXTREMELY overlooked, and are sick of pretenders dabbling in their division. If you want to form a team in SWFantasy, the Usos are putting a target on your back until you can prove you deserve to call yourself a tag team.

#15 - Fandangoo (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week's ranking N/R

The match may have been over an argument with Del Rio and Brodus Clay, but Fandangoo made the biggest impact, laying Brodus low with a Microphone to the skull. Fandagoo is an enigma, but does he have the footwork to dance his way out of trouble with the Funkasaurus?

In addition to the POWER 15, the Un4tunate Four is a list of 4 superstars who might want to rethink their career choices.

#-1 - Yoshi Tatsu (Axesex Heat) last week’s ranking N/R

Yoshi had a terrible week, losing to Heath Slater and then being crushed by Mark Henry. Both men are real competitors, but two loses is a blow to the Ego. Long Island Yo-Shi may have been good for a laugh, but we aren’t sure that’s what Yoshi intended. With Santino on the case, we look forward to some laughs, but if Yoshi wants to be a true competitor, he needs to win some matches.

#-2 - Tyson Kidd (Velocijakked) last week’s ranking N/R

Tyson may not have had a bad match against Big Zeke this week, but a loss is a loss. And neglecting to take advantage of veteran advice from William Regal is surely poor decision making. Tyson better watch his back, Regal isn’t retired just yet.

#-3 - Zack Ryder (Velocijakked) Internet Champion Last week’s ranking N/R

Poor Zack, how does it feel to have a championship that no one recognizes as a legitimate title? Is Zack the man to build a lineage for a new title? Or should he just hang up the head band? The internet is poised to support him, if he can just get someone to accept his challenge.

#-4 - Eve (Axesex Heat) Last week’s ranking N/R

Eve lost her title this week to a powerful and devious duo. Her only ally has a history of sudden injuries and Eve is looking at un4tunate odds in any upcoming rematch. Eve might want to go to the drawing board before stepping back up to the plate.

Thanks for reading this week’s POWER 15. Check back next week for updated rankings and commentary!