Velocijakked: Episode 4

Long Island, New York. Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman on commentary.

Segment 1: John Cena promo in-ring. Cena is visibly distraught, no running out from backstage, just a slow walk to the ring. He grabs a mic and talks about how he's spent 10 years in the WWE. 10 years fighting for what he thinks is right. 10 years fighting for the right to call himself the champ. He appears to be trying to convince himself as much as anything else as Cena claims that his career, his past - and his future - still mean that he can say THE CHAMP! IS-CM Punk's music hits. Paul Heyman walks out and says "ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, the WWE Champion for ONE FULL YEAR! MR C! M! PUNK!" Punk comes out with A NEW WWE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT - the classic WWF Title. Punk asks if Cena recognises this belt. He says he shouldn't, because it's not his ridiculous spinning contraption. It's the true championship reflecting the greatest wrestlers of all-time... and John Cena will never hold it. Cena looks truly hurt by this. Punk says that Cena's whole career has been about doing what's right. He told the kids never to give up. And what did John Cena do when the stakes have never been higher? He GAVE UP. There's a slight smarky "you tapped out" chant. Cena is too sad to respond and walks to the back. Punk says he has finally vanquished Cena but now, as a truly historic champion, he must move on to other challengers! Not that they'll be actual challenges to him, of course, but he's willing to let someone delude themselves into thinking they could win. Tonight's main event, he says, will be a Newcomer Royal Rumble, where every participant will be someone who's never held the WWE Championship before. The winner will face him at TLC for the title.

Segment 2: Cena walking backstage, still upset at his situation. Zack Ryder walks in and says "bro, lighten up!" Cena says "I can't lighten up, Zack, that title means everything to me." Zack tells him that tonight he's going to win the mini rumble for him. Cena chuckles and says "you do that, Zack. I appreciate it." Zack says "I'm serious, bro!" and Cena leaves.

Segment 3: JTG and Zeke vs The Usos. The announcers remind us of how the Usos used teamwork to take down Rey and Sin Cara at Survivor Series and they do the same here, defeating JTG and a still-sore Zeke, who has taped ribs from his beat down at the PPV.

Segment 4: 3MB backstage. Slater tells Drew and Jinder how tonight is their big break! They're making the big time tonight, bay bay! Jinder, the fun one, says "yeah, I can't wait until the battle royal later tonight". Slater says "wait, what are you talking about? I meant our gig tonight! Dudes, we're on at 3 AM at New York's hottest club - it's called 'a group of hobos sitting around a campfire at the dump'! This place has everything. Clones, several giraffes, Jewish cartoon character Menorah the Explorer, and a human suitcase." "What's a human suitcase?" asks Jinder. Slater replies, "It's that thing when a dwarf on rollerskates wears all of your clothes and then you pull them through an airport." Slater runs out screaming "YEAH BAY BAY BIG TIME!" as Drew and Jinder, the fun one, shake their heads.

Segment 5: William Regal promo in-ring. He talks about how tonight, he'll of course become the new #1 contender to that noble gentleman, CM Punk, 's WWE championship, as the only other man on Velocijakked to win his singles contest at Survivor Series. But he has more important news to get to, because he wants to introduce to Velocijakked three men who are future stars. Three men who, under Regal's leadership, will all get their own WWE championship opportunities, tenfold! He introduces Tyson Hart - Tyson Kidd, with Bret's old music, repackaged to look more like Bret. Hart says that he's ACTUALLY the best there ever will be. Regal introduces Master Perfect himself - Joe Hennig, a repackaged Michael McGillicutty in his dad's old tights and bleached blonde hair. He gets in the ring, spits out his gum and hits it away. And Regal introduces The Billion Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase - DiBiase Jr, but fully doing his dad's gimmick. DiBiase says how his trust fund set him up for life - BECAUSE EVERYONE'S GOT A PRICE! HA HA HA HA!

Segment 6: Sin Cara backstage getting ready for the mini Rumble. Rey walks in and wishes him the best of luck, since he's the only person other than Cena excluded from the match. Cara thanks Rey.

Segment 7: We look through the door of the locker room to see John Cena sadly packing his bags.

Segment 8: Mini Royal Rumble! This has all the same rules as the normal Rumble and goes for around 45 minutes, with 15 participants.

#1 - William Regal
#2 - Sin Cara's music hits but no-one comes out. We cut to the back where Rey is trying to find him, and eventually finds him laid out and unconscious in the back! Rey calls for the doctors, dawg.
#3 - Heath Slater
#4 - Joe Hennig. He and Regal team up against Slater.
#5 - Drew McIntyre as the numbers game is evened up.
#6 - Tyson Hart
#7 - Jinder Mahal
#8 - Ted DiBiase as Regal and his proteges beat down 3MB mercilessly, eventually throwing them out one by one.
#9 - Ezekiel Jackson, who dominates for a minute or two.
#10 - Zack Ryder, who helps Zeke even the odds.
#11 - Camacho. Everyone stops when Camacho enters the ring and is confused. Camacho realises "wait, sorry, I can't wrestle! Sorry guys, haha" and jumps over the top rope but trips and falls through the floor which was actually a black hole leading to an infinite vortex where he will spend the rest of eternity spinning to a never-found doom.
#12 - Jimmy Uso
#13 - JTG
#14 - Jey Uso
#15 - a returning Hunico is the surprise fifteenth entrant with everyone except Sin Cara, 3MB and Camacho now in the ring.

JTG is eliminated by Hart and Hennig but Zeke takes them both out. As Zeke looks over his work Regal takes him out from behind and eliminates him as well! Hunico is eliminated. The Usos try to double team William Regal and almost take him out but DiBiase saves him by taking out Jimmy, and Regal takes out Jey, leaving the final three of Regal, DiBiase and Ryder. Regal and DiBiase stare down Ryder and double team him as well. They go to throw him out but he grabs onto the top rope and hurricanranas DiBiase out! Regal tries to kick him while he holds onto the bottom rope but eventually Zack gets back in. Your final two are Regal and Zack. They fight for five minutes or so before Regal hits the Knee Trembler on Ryder. Ryder tries to pull himself up using the ropes while Regal pulls out the brass knuckles. He runs over to Ryder and swings but misses, tumbling towards the ropes, and Zack pushes him over! Zack Ryder, the King of the Battle Royal, is the #1 contender to the WWE Championship at TLC! John Cena runs out to hold up Ryder's hand as he celebrates, followed by Punk walking out and standing on the ramp sarcastically clapping.

SWF Survivor Series 2012

Pre-show: US Title, Cesaro vs Khali. this time cesaro didn’t even need to cheat, chop no, uppercut, neutralizer, 123 cesaro retains, khali is junk

1) Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs The Usos. Sin Cara is the face in peril for most of the contest as the Usos continually tag in and out and use their five seconds to hit devastating double team moves. Cara eventually gets the tag to Rey who cleans house. He hits the 619 on Jey and heads to the top rope but Jimmy goes and pushes him to the outside. Jimmy throws Rey back in the ring and Cara takes out Jimmy with a flip to the outside - but in doing so has left a hurt Rey in peril in the ring! Whatever Jey's finisher is, 123, Usos over due to miscommunication from the faces.

2) IC Title, Kofi Kingston vs Mason Ryan.

mason wants to start with a handshake
kofi shakes his hand
sos 12no
ryan goes into his tights for some sort of foreign object behind the ref’s back
it’s the brass knuckles again
he tosses them into the middle of the ring
the ref sees them and yells
the ref grabs the knuckles and takes them out of the ring
kofi looks confused as he thought ryan was being a good sport
he yells was that you?
mason shrugs and says nothing personal
low blow to kofi
ref turns around
masonaroo
123 mason ryan is the new intercontinental champion

BACKSTAGE - Cena being interviewed by Camacho. He stresses how important tonight is.

3) Traditional SS match, Brodus Clay/Randy Orton/Santino Marella/Christian/Yoshi Tatsu vs Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez/Fandango/Epico/Primo

ROSA is at ringside
yoshi tatsu is dressed as brutus the barber ricecake
whatever that is
fandango gives LILLIAN a rose again
cobra to ricardo
123 ricardo is OUT
spear to primo
123 primo is OUT
backstabber to yoshi
123 yoshi is OUT
cobra to epico
123 epico out
but fandango in with a quick rollup on santino
123 santino is OUT
arm breaker to christian
tap
christian is OUT
down to del rio and fandango vs brodus and orton
brodus gets the beatdown for a while
hot tag to orton but no
orton drops down to the floor and leaves brodus alone
brodus can’t believe it
cha cha cha by fandango
123
fandango and del rio are your sole survivors

4) William Regal vs Ezekiel Jackson. Regal is trying to prove to Ted DiBiase, Michael McGillicutty and Tyson Kidd that he can show them how to get better than they've ever been as they watch backstage. Zeke is very strong throughout the match, after being on a roll with three consecutive wins on Velocijakked heading into this show, but Regal's veteran abilities and heelish strategies prove the difference. Your finish comes when Zeke is roughing up Regal in the corner and Regal pretends to have been poked in the eyes and the ref gets between the two to check Regal. As the ref isn't looking Regal pokes Zeke in the eyes and runs out of the corner hitting the Knee Trembler, 123 Regal goes over. Regal stands tall as the tron shows a replay of the finish. Regal watches arrogantly and raises his arms in victory but behind him, Zeke begins to stir and stands behind Regal about to hit him. Out come McGillicutty, Kidd and DiBiase and they beat down Zeke! McGillicutty hits the Perfectplex! DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream! He releases it to let Kidd lock in the Sharpshooter! Regal stands behind the fallen Zeke and the three younger superstars laughing evilly.

BACKSTAGE - Tony Chimel, scared of Orton asks him why he left his teammates, Orton looks to attack Chimel, but then just laughs and walks out of the arena not saying a word.

EARLIER TODAY - Vickie Guerrero talks. We see the recap of Rhodes Scholars winning the #1 contendership and also winning the GM spot for Vickie on last weeks Axesexx Heat. We also see the brawl between Rhodes Scholars and The champs Kane and Bryan. Vicki says if they want to fight all over then lets make it legal with a fall count anywhere Maptch

5) Tag Titles Hell No/Scholars, falls count anywhere. Match match match. Action goes to the back, brutal action. Byran and Rhodes wrestler down the ramp but as Kane is beating on Sandow Sandow knocks Kane into a back room. Suddenly The prime time player appear and slam the door and hold it shut. They yell at a confused sandow to run. Meanwhile Rhodes and Bryan wrestle in ring. Bryan has the upper hand but as Rhodes get a role up. Epico jumps the ringside rail sneaks up the apron and holds down Bryans leg where the ref cant see. 1 2 3 Rhodes gets the pin and new tag champs. Epico slides under the ring to hide and a confused Rhode looks around takes the tag belt and is attacked by Bryan yelling No No No and we also get a split screen of Kane breaking out of the room, the Prime Time Player running away and Kane catching Sandow and putting him though the concession stand.

6) Divas Title, Layla (c) w/Tamina [Pretty Fly] vs Kaitlyn. Layla wins with Tamina cheating behind the refs back. The celebrate but of course Layla hogs the title.

BACKSTAGE - Vickie talks to Teddy and Booker. She brags about being the new GM and rambles on and on. As she talks Hornswoggle in leprechaun gear takes out large clippers and cuts away the back of vickie's dress showing her giant granny panties. Book and teddy laugh and Vicki freaks out yelling that little monster is fired... FIRED!

7) World Title, Big Show (c) vs Mark Henry. Monster vs monster match. Amazing work by both men, but at one point Henry gets tied up in the ropes, big show attacks henrys knee with huge blows. Henry on one wheel for a bit but then big show actually gets henry in a submission move to which henry passes out Big Show retains.

8) Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler, no DQ.

chairs
kendo stick
dolph sets up a table
sleeper
reversed into bro kick no
dolph eats the table
zig zag no
white noise
12 dolph gets a foot on the rope
AJ out
we haven’t seen her in a while
dolph yells at her to get out of here
she won’t leave and gets on the apron
sheamus walks over to talk to her
she slaps him in the face
zig zag 123 dolph finally beats sheamus
dolph goes over to aj and yells at her again
then they both laugh
they kiss
oh boy heel aj

9) WWE Title, CM Punk (c) vs John Cena (if Cena loses, he forfeits his rights to any future WWE title shot). It's another PPV-quality match from these two, as you'd expect. AA from Cena, 12no. GTS from Punk, 12no. Another AA from Cena and again Punk kicks out! Cena gets desperate and goes for a GTS but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vise! Cena crawls towards the ropes but Punk drags him back into the center of the ring! Cena strains more than he ever has, trying desperately to harness the power the WWE title holds over him, crawling to the ropes one last time... AND AGAIN Punk drags him to the middle of the ring... and Cena taps out! CM Punk retains the WWE Championship. Punk walks away with the belt held high yelling "BEST IN THE WORLD!" as Cena falls to his knees, distraught.

Octopus Mask's POWER 15 and Un4tunate Four [Week 3]

Hello, and Welcome the 11/21/12-11/28/12 edition of the SWFantasy POWER 15!

Through painstaking research we have compiled a list of the 15 most powerful superstars of the week.
These rankings are made based on wins, loses, championship reigns and hunts, and overall impact that superstars make on a week to week basis. So without further Ado, here is YOUR POWER 15!!!

1. CM Punk (Velocijakked) WWE Champion Last week’s spot #1

CM Punk had a great week. He beat Zack Ryder with no problem at all, proving that he is at least the best in Long Island. And If Punk’s goal is to throw Cena off his game, he just may be succeeding. Cena flipped out and smashed up a car, and assuming it was just a rental, Punk got off scot free. With such a big match coming up and with Cena mad enough to start making some mistakes, Punk may be able to prove his moniker this week as the Best in The World.

2. Sheamus (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

We would normally see the Great White shining the Pearly Whites at some point early in the show. But this week, Sheamus was all business. Finally appearing in the contract signing Sheamus exacted some revenge on Ziggler with a big crucifix power bomb through a table. Sheamus dominates Ziggler on a week to week basis, but the true contest is at Survivor Series in a match that will decide the de-facto top dog on SNSD. In this no DQ match, both men are sure to scratch and claw their way to victory by any means necessary.

3. John Cena (Velocijakked) Last week’s rankings #4

John couldn’t be angrier, and couldn’t be more justified. The Straight Edge WWE Champion has made it his goal to make Cena as unhappy as possible and seems to be succeeding. Depending on how Survivor Series goes, Cena could Tumble or Top the rankings next week. This week, Cena beat Rey Mysterio in a classic match and had Punk running for the hills so for now, he secures a nice ranking on the Power 15.

4. Big Show (Axesex Heat) World Heavy Weight Champion Last week’s spot #3

Big Show took his first beating in SWFantasy this week after being laid low by the new #1 Contender Mark Henry. While Big Show may still be undefeated, it has to shake the spirits of the World Heavyweight Champion to be so humbled going into Survivor Series. That being said, The Dangerous Viper seems to have his focus drawn away this week after Big Show knocked him out of title contention. Thinning the field is great, but there is still one BIG obstacle for Big Show this Sunday.

5. Dolph Ziggler (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) WHC Money in the Bank holder Last week’s ranking #7

Dolph continues to take a beating every weak, but if you don’t take that into consideration, everything’s coming up Ziggler. Being In the SNSD main event of Survivor Series, Ziggler has shown he has his sights set high. And with the great competition in the ranks, Ziggler shows something special by rising to the top to challenge the Great White. We suspect Ziggler has something in mind by requesting a no DQ Match, but we will have to wait for Survivor Series to know what awaits Sheamus. Dolph has to be happy as well that his long time girl friend Vicky Guerrero is the new GM of Axesex Heat. Who knows what sorts of influence Dolph now wields behind the scenes?

6. Team Hell No - Kane and Daniel Bryan (Axesex Heat) WWE Tag Team Champions Last week’s spot # 5

Team Hell No took some time to build team work this week, and they seemed to be getting along. But the Tag Team Title race turned out a new #1 contender this week, and the Champs haven’t been in the ring in weeks. Kane and Bryan need to remember that they won’t have avatars to protect them from the Devious Team Rhodes Scholars. And in the real world, you cant just pump your stats up to 100.

7. Antonio Ceasaro (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) United States Champion Last week’s ranking #8

Ceasaro previewed his Survivor Series match this week on SNSD beating Khali after a poke to the eye. Khali now knows what to expect and will be angry. History has shown us an angry giant is a dangerous giant. But to Ceasaro’s credit, giving the big man a neutralizer is a herculean feat. While Ceasaro is by no means small, prior to this match we questioned his ability to put Khali away. Ceasaro should be confident going into this match, but one chop is all Khali needs.

8. Mark Henry (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #9

Mark Henry is the first man to put a dent in WHC The Big Show. Laying Big Show out this week on Axesex Heat sent a true message the The World’s Strongest Man is ready and focused on the challenge of the Big Show at Survivor Series. He will need to live up to that moniker as goliaths collide.

9. Ryback (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #8

We all know Ryback is hungry but now he is angry. Wait isn’t he always angry? Maybe, but now he has good reason. Mason Ryan may have crossed the wrong guy this week. We have a feeling that Ryback isn’t the kind of man to just shrug off a loss like Mason Ryan gave him this week. But, until Ryback strikes back, he slips a little on the Power 15 Momentum Meter this week.

10. Randy Orton (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #10

Randy Orton took a bad tumble this week. He was given an opportunity to redeem his performance two weeks ago and he couldn’t get the job done thanks to The Big Show’s interference. Loosing out on future title shots is a real career staller. Who knows when another big chance can come along for the Viper now? Orton’s addition to the 10 man Survivor Series traditional tag is sure to energize an already stacked matchup, but you have to believe that Orton was looking to stay at the main event level going into Survivor Series.

11. Uso Brothers (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking #12

The Usos got the match they were looking for. Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio will clash with the Pacific Warriors at Survivor Series. This week, the Usos tried once again to put Sin Cara out of his misery and smashed him through a table. On top of that, Rey must be feeling the pain from last night’s classic bout with John Cena. Neither man took it easy on the other, and you can be sure the Usos were watching for any hint of weakness in the Mysterious King. Our money is on the Usos and that is reflected in the Rankings this week.

12. Mason Ryan (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 14

Mason Ryan took a leap of faith this week by cheating to pass over Ryback for an IC title match. We are sure he wasn’t expecting the addition of the Ravenous Ryback to the Intercontinental Championship picture, but, I wouldn’t say crisis averted for the Welsh Weasle Ryan. Ryback is sure to get revenge. If we were Mason, we might call craft services for some help, because you’re going to have to feed Ryback something, and he’s coming for Mason to get his fill.

13. Kofi Kingston (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Intercontinental Champion Last week’s ranking #11

Swimming with two giants, Kofi might be in a little over his head. Mason Ryan showed the world his true colors this week picking up a tainted victory over Ryback. But Kofi doesn’t seem to realize the shady character he is dealing with. Let’s hope Kofi watches the tape of this match, or that someone backstage has the decency to warn him. Also, while Mason Ryan may have shaken the hornets’ nest by cheating to beat Ryback, Kofi needs to remember that Ryback’s ultimate goal right now is get his meathook into the Intercontinental Championship. Kofi may be the holder of a coveted title. But it’s hard to imagine him holding it for long.

14. Rhodes Scholars (Axesex Heat) Last week’s ranking N/R

While Team Rhodes Scholars may have only won their #1 Contendership for the WWE Tag Team Championships by count out, they are still in line for a shot at the prestigious titles. Having spent the evening enraging the future Axesex Heat GM however may not have been such a great idea. But with a locked up Tag Team Title match going into Survivor Series, and a seemingly distracted pair in Hell No being the only thing standing between Rhodes Scholars and the Copper twins, things are looking pretty smart for Rhodes and Sandow.

15. Ezekiel Jackson (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking 15

One of the downsides of dominating the competition is that it paints a target on your back. Big Zeke continued his winning streak this week, beating McGillicutty in a competitive match. But, Regal, who has claimed all along to know just how to deal with Jackson, left Zeke counting his teeth after a knee trembler and a shot with the knucks. If Regal can put the big man down, we might just hand over this ranking spot to the Black Pool Brawler in only a weeks’ time.

The Un4tunate Four
In addition to the POWER 15, the Un4tunate Four is a list of 4 superstars who might want to rethink their career choices.

1. Tensai (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

Losing to Ryback last week is one thing, but losing to Alex Riley is another. Otunga was right, Tensai needs to snap out of it before that Japanese writing is translated to English and it says loser all over his face. I’d Sakamoto may have to start carrying a handkerchief for the big Americanese Monster to dry his post match tears in coming weeks.

2. Yoshi Tatsu (Axesex Heat) last week’s ranking N/R

Yoshi came back with a new gimmick this week. But to no avail. All it took was a can of beer to knock the Faux-Red-Neck out of his Faux-Leather boots. Hopefully a strong performance in his survivor series match can wipe the slate clean for Yoshi.

3. Tyson Kidd (Velocijakked) last week’s ranking U4 #3

Not only did Tyson lose to the Usos this week, he also was shown up by the veteran Regal who accomplished something Tyson and his friends couldn’t for the last 3 weeks. Regal may be right, Tyson was certainly wrong, and salt in the wounds means a painful week for Kidd.

4. Jerry the King Lawler (Axesex Heat) last week’s ranking N/R

Is it fair to put a commentator on this list? Well remember, Jerry Lawler is not just a commentator. As an active member of the WWE Roster, Jerry Lawler has honor to uphold. Barrett took liberties with the Legacy of Lawler this week and Jerry should consider strongly standing up to Barrett. In words or in actions, Jerry Lawler needs to respond.

Thanks for reading this week’s POWER 15. Check back next week for updated rankings and commentary!

Saturday Night Snapdragon: Episode 3

COLE and MAN 64 on commentary

recap of last week
dolph gets bro kicked in the head by sheamus
and is declared the winner in a match that never happened

cole says that gm otunga has made dolph vs sheamus official for survivor series
tonight in the main event we will have the contract signing

us title match
KHALI vs ANTONIO CESARO us champion
khali still can’t bend over
but cesaro with a thumb to the eye
neutralizer 123 cesaro retains

backstage GM OTUNGA drinking coffee
TENSAI in with SAKAMOTO
otunga talks about when tensai first showed up
and how devastating he was
and now he seems to be on a bad streak
he says try and win this one
your match is next

ALEX RILEY already in the ring
TENSAI with SAKAMOTO vs RILEY
tensai splash misses
rollup 123 riley over
OTUNGA is on the ramp shaking his head
he looks disgusted
tensai is angry and grabs sakamoto
but he decides not to beat him up
tensai looks like he’s going to cry and just goes to the back

MIZ out for MIZ TV
he talks about survivor series and tradition
and traditional elimination matches
and says it will be TEAM DEL RIO vs TEAM BRODUS CLAY at survivor series
he’s introducing the team captain del rio
DEL RIO OUT with RICARDO
del rio introduces his team
FANDANGO dances out
he gives LILLIAN another rose
del rio mentions that time they gave a note to rosa
he says that was no “smoochy smoochy”
what?
that was all business because he is employing the services of this team
EPICO and PRIMO out with ROSA

cole wonders who will be on BRODUS CLAY’s team

video package
that guy who looks like sin cara is flipping around
still has a cowboy hat on
and cowboy boots
this week he throws a lasso around his opponent
he yells YEEEEHA
the graphic says SIN CARL
NEXT WEEK

CHRISTIAN vs CURT HAWKINS
killswitch
frog splash 123 christian over

backstage KOFI standing
MASON RYAN in
he tells kofi he is impressed with his work and would like a shot at the IC title
kofi tells him any time
RYBACK in
he says feed me intercontinental title
gm otunga in
he makes a number one contenders match for the IC title for tonight

kofi on commentary
#1 contenders match for the ic title
RYBACK vs MASON RYAN
meathook
mason turns to kofi motions for him to come to the ring apron
kofi looks confused but gets up and walks over
the ref tells kofi to go back to his seat
mason reaches in his trunks and pulls out what looks like brass knucks
ref is still distracted by kofi
mason tosses the knucks to ryback who catches them
the ref turns around and sees ryback with the knucks
DQ mason ryan over
ryback is furious but ryan escapes before he can beat him up
kofi never saw what happened so he’s unaware that mason is shady
regardless mason ryan is the new #1 contender

main event
contract signing
GM OTUNGA in the ring
DOLPH out
SHEAMUS out
he says he wants to make sure that dolph can’t win in some pathetic fashion
he wants no disqualification
otunga says dolph wanted that too so he already took care of it
the match will be no disqualification
sheamus signs first
dolph takes his time and then signs
he puts out his hand to ask sheamus for a handshake
sheamus refuses and turns around
dolph tries for the zig zag
but sheamus counters with white noise
he looks at the table
grabs dolph over his head
cross toss through the table
the end

SWF Survivor Series: The Card

Survivor Series card (not in match order):

WWE Title: CM Punk (c) vs John Cena (If Cena loses, he can't have another WWE Title match)

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs The Usos

William Regal vs Ezekiel Jackson

Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler (No DQ)

Team Del Rio (Alberto Del Rio, Ricardo Rodriguez, Epico, Primo and Fandango) vs Team Brodus Clay (Brodus Clay, Randy Orton, Santino Marella, Christian and Yoshi Tatsu)

IC Title: Kofi Kingston (c) vs Mason Ryan

World Title: Big Show (c) vs Mark Henry

Divas Title: Layla (c) w/Tamina vs Kaitlyn

Tag Titles: Kane and Daniel Bryan (c) vs Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes

PRE-SHOW - US Title: Antonio Cesaro (c) vs The Great Khali

Velocijakked: Episode 3

Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman on commentary.

Segment 1: CM Punk promo in-ring with Paul Heyman. Punk says that he's just one week away from an entire year as WWE Champion. Think about all the stuff that happens in that time-span, he says. I get another year closer to the Hall of Fame. Vince gets another year closer to retirement, hopefully. And after Sunday, John Cena gets another year closer to having his entire career under my control. I decide if he gets another title shot - and obviously, he'll never have one again, because I'm holding onto this belt forever. I'm going to be a better champion than Cena ever was! Cena runs to the ring angrily after the beatdown last week and Paul Heyman gets in between the two. He tells Cena to calm down because he clearly didn't read the fine print of the contract that they signed backstage - because contract signings on TV are dumb. If either man lays a hand on the other, they forfeit their match and in Punk's case, the WWE title. But CM Punk is a man of integrity and would never do that sort of thing. Heyman says that instead, each man tonight will pick an opponent for the other. Punk says he's already made his choice. Tonight's main event will be John Cena... vs Rey Mysterio. Cena looks confused as Punk walks to the back.

Segment 2: Cena walking backstage, he bumps into Rey. He asks Rey if he knew about their match tonight and Rey says he didn't, he was concentrating on getting ready for his match with Sin Cara against the Usos at Survivor Series. The two shake hands.

Segment 3: Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase vs The Usos. The commentators discuss Kidd and DiBiase getting along because of their mutual interests - they hate Ezekiel Jackson and were dismissive of William Regal. They're not quite as cohesive of a unit as the Usos are though who look great as they win and roll on to Survivor Series.

Segment 4: Michael McGillicutty in the locker room getting ready when Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase walk in. They wish him luck with his match tonight against Zeke but say if they couldn't take him down, no-one can.

Segment 5: Ezekiel Jackson vs Michael McGillicutty. The commentators put over Zeke's wins in the past two weeks over Tyson Kidd and Ted DiBiase. The match goes similarly and eventually Zeke's strength is once again too much, as he hits the Book-of-Ezekiel-End and gets the 123. He celebrates but from behind William Regal attacks Zeke! Zeke crawls around trying to recover but Regal hits the Knee Trembler and then pulls out the brass knuckles and knocks out Zeke. McGillicutty, who's crawled up the ramp at this point, looks back at Regal standing tall as Kidd and DiBiase also come out to watch. Regal grabs a mic and says "if no-one else is going to take care of this imbecile, I guess I'll have to do it at Survivor Series."

Segment 6: Cena backstage when Zack Ryder walks up. Ryder says that he really didn't get a chance to fight last week and he really wants a shot at Punk. Cena clearly isn't sure, umming and ahhing. Ryder says please John, gimme a chance, I can help you out, I mean I'm the Internet Champion! Cena chuckles and says if you want a shot at Punk, fine, you can face him tonight. Ryder jumps up and down in joy as he runs to the locker room to get ready.

Segment 7: We head to the ring for the new talk show segment, 'Camacho Comes Alive!'. He introduces the show and points us to the moderately priced Jeritron 20, which is sitting on a stool, where in black and white we see grainy clips of Heath Slater singing. The audio is mostly crackling noises. Slater is his guest and he asks where Camacho got that footage from, ejecting the VHS out of the base of the Jeritron 20 and running away, screaming "OUR SINGLE ISN'T READY YET BAYBAY". Camacho shrugs and dissolves into a pool of metallic liquid like in Terminator.

Segment 8: In our 9/10 oclock spot, CM Punk vs Zack Ryder. John Cena is out first to be on commentary. Cena is slightly angry while on commentary and this comes to the forefront when we get near the end of the match. Punk is dominating Ryder for the majority of the contest before getting on a bit of a roll. He goes for the Broski Boot but misses, and Punk gets up. Cena stands up from his chair to yell at Punk and Punk yells back. Cena moves towards the ring, drawing the referee's attention, and Ryder rolls up Punk for what looks like it could've been a three! Ryder goes over to Cena to tell him to sit down and gets caught by Punk who hits the GTS but thinks that isn't enough and locks in the Anaconda Vise, forcing Ryder to tap. Punk grabs his title and backs up the ramp as Cena stands at the side of the ring closest to the ramp staring, with Ryder in pain in the background.

Segment 9: Punk in the parking lot still trying to leave with his title, as ace reporter Camacho approaches him. Punk says "aren't you a liquid now?" as he gets in his bus. Camacho becomes self-aware, realising that he is a replicant and runs off screen screaming.

Segment 10: Sin Cara vs JTG. Sin Cara puts on an impressive performance in defeating JTG, who can't seem to buy a win. After the match the Usos run out and attack Sin Cara though and for the second time, put him through a table. Rey runs out after they have done this, clearly mid-way through getting his gear ready for his match later tonight, and can only watch as the Usos escape through the crowd. He yells "NOOOOOOO DAWG" to the sky as the top-down camera spirals upwards and away.

Segment 11: Main event! John Cena vs Rey Mysterio. This gets 20-25 minutes and is a PPV-quality match. CM Punk comes out a few minutes into the contest to join the commentators and acts just like a normal commentator, ignoring questions about Cena. For your finish, Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but when bouncing off the ropes near the commentators, Punk grabs his foot to try and trip him up. Rey rolls Cena up for a 12no. Rey sends Cena onto the second rope and Punk tries to hold Cena down for the 619 but Cena escapes and grabs Rey as he swings around to kick him, AA, 123 Cena over. Punk scowls and walks up the ramp as Cena grabs a mic. He says he doesn't want to wait until Survivor Series. Punk says "you can't lay a hand on me!" but Cena says "I know. But you didn't say anything about a chair." Cena runs out of the ring, grabs a chair and chases after Punk. We cut backstage to see Punk getting in the bus and yelling at the driver to go. Cena with the chair runs straight at the door, swinging the chair and smashing the door window as the bus starts to pull away. He continues to hit the windows on the side of the bus as the bus eventually gets away.

Octopus Mask's POWER 15 and Un4tunate Four [Week 2]

Hello, and welcome to the 11/14/12-11/20/12 edition of the SWFantasy POWER 15!
Through painstaking research we have compiled a list of the 15 most powerful superstars of the week.
These rankings are made based on wins, loses, championship reigns and hunts, and overall impact that superstars make on a week to week basis. Keep in mind that this weeks rankings were forced to take into account the preemption of Axesex Heat. So without further Ado, here is YOUR POWER 15!!!

CM Punk (Velocijakked) WWE Champion Last week’s spot #2

Poor CM Punk. It must feel rotten to be so hated as WWE Champion that you can’t even find a tag team partner. With that being said, Punk ended the night on Velocijakked leaving LI Iced Z and the mighty John Cena laying in the ring. Chalk up a win for the champ where mind games are concerned. 350 days as champion, sneaking in a stipulation to put his biggest competition away for good, and win or lose, physically dominating John Cena puts Punk in the top spot this week.

Sheamus (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking 4

Sheamus continues to dominate Saturday Night Snap Dragon this week, both by physically manhandling Kurt Hawkins (Hurts Doughnut anyone?) and by fusing Zigglers face to that briefcase in the main event. Although Ziggler continues to throw mud in Sheamus’ eye, a loss is a loss. And though Sheamus ended the night more red in the face than usual, we expect the satisfaction of a Brogue Kick to the bug in Sheamus’ soup has left him feeling pretty good.

Big Show (Axesex Heat) World Heavy Weight Champion Last week’s spot #1

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Big Show slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back to the top next week? Stay tuned!

John Cena (Velocijakked) Last week’s rankings #5

We aren’t sure what is worse; not being able to find a tag team partner, or being forced to deputize the lowly Internet Champion. What happens when you bring a bro to a chair fight? CM Punk showed us this week, by knocking Cena senseless. Cena has shown himself to be a gambling man over the last couple weeks, but if his bet on Zack Ryder is any indication, John may want to fold this hand before betting it all on Survivor Series.

Team Hell No - Kane and Daniel Bryan (Axesex Heat) WWE Tag Team Champions Last week’s spot #3

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Team Hell No slips a little in the rankings. Will they be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Antonio Cesaro (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) United States Champion Last week’s ranking #8

Cesaro has been a strong champion, but Khali has been a wild card for years. Sometimes you get the Punjabi Playboy, and sometimes you get the Punjabi Nightmare. Cesaro had a nightmare of his own this week, but giving up a pinfall to the biggest man on SNSD is nothing to be ashamed of. Either way, the U.S. title scene has no lack of challenges; now, or in the near future. Just by holding the title, Cesaro is proving his mettle.

Dolph Ziggler (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) WHC Money in the Bank holder Last week’s ranking #10

Dolph ended this week’s SNSD looking a little black and blue. Black from Sheamus’ boot and blue from the paint rubbing off of the WHC MITB briefcase. Week after week though, we have seen that taking a beating makes little difference to Dolph so long as his plans come to fruition. If Dolph’s strategy is to get under Sheamus’ skin, then a technical victory is the way to go. But, Ziggler is treading on thin ice with Sheamus, and he will need to score a definitive victory soon to be a real threat. Don’t forget either, it is very possible that Vickie Guerrero (Dolph’s Girl Friend) could become GM of Axesex Heat with a victory in the GM tag team triple threat, making Dolph’s likelihood of a successful MITB cash-in a real possibility.

Ryback (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #11

Tensai thought he could pick up some momentum by picking a fight with the Meat hook Mauler Ryback. But like a bowl of Soba in a Tokyo noodle shop, Tensai left Ryback screaming “Feed Me More!” Who can stop Ryback’s devouring of SWFantasy’s roster?

Mark Henry (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #6

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means Mark Henry slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Randy Orton (Axesex Heat) Last week’s spot #7

Axesex Heat’s pre-emption this week means The Viper slips a little in the rankings. Will he be able to rebuild that momentum and climb back towards the top next week? Stay tuned!

Kofi Kingston (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Intercontinental Champion Last week’s ranking #13

Kofi has won two matches in a row now. But then again, Alex Riley and a practically predecapitated Kurt Hawkins are not prime competition. If Kofi keeps on a winning streak it will only mean good news for the status of his championship, but when you face so many low men on the totem pole, can you ever really be satisfied? And, what happens if you might lose to one of these clowns? Mason Ryan could be the challenge Kofi needs, and if the last two weeks are any indication, the two are on a collision course.

Uso Brothers (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking #14

The Usos have a momentum edge over their current tag team terror targets, Rey and Sin Cara. A win over 3MB gives credence to the Usos’ claim as a dominant team on Velocijakked. Mysterio and Cara won their matches this week too, but after the hurting the Usos put on Rey and Sin Cara last week, we have to give the edge to the Usos. You can be sure that the Luchadors will meet the Usos in a Mexican Standoff somewhere down the line.

Fandango (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking #15

Fandango still hasn’t had a match, but that hasn’t stopped him from slam dancing all over Brodus Clay’s face. We still aren’t sure what the connection is between Fandango and Alberto Del Rio, but the impact of their relationship is apparent. The real question is, when invited to dance, will Fandango or Brodus be the lead?

Mason Ryan (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Mason Ryan has had a slow start since making his way to the WWE. But in SWFantasy, he appears to have decided the time is right to make his move. Last week, Kofi beat Alex Riley. This week, Mason Ryan beat Alex Riley. And both weeks it has been clear Mason Ryan is watching Kofi Closely. Kofi must be feeling the Welsh Watchman’s breath on his neck. Could Kofi’s first big challenge as IC champ be waiting in the wings?

Ezekiel Jackson (Velocijakked) Last week’s ranking N/R

A surefire way to identify big players on a brand is to look at men that other superstars aspire to take down. Ted DiBiasi and Tyson Kidd have both fallen to Ezekiel Jackson in the last two weeks. Both men are angry and hungry for retribution, but if Big Zeke can hold them at bay, he could push his way up the roster. William Regal seems to think he knows the secret to toppling the Guianese Gargantuan, but something tells us Zeke welcomes the challenge.

The Un4tunate Four
In addition to the POWER 15, the Un4tunate Four is a list of 4 superstars who might want to rethink their career choices.

Zack Ryder (Velocijakked) Internet Champion Last week’s ranking U4 #3

Another week, and no one steps up to the plate. The Internet Championship can’t get any traction. Even worse, a main event embarrassment by CM Punk isn’t doing Zack and favors. When Cena scraped the bottom of the barrel, Zack was all he could find. And a chair to back means another bad week for Zack. Who can unseat the new Un4tunate #1???

Curt Hawkins (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

After last week’s demolition by Ryback, Curt may have thought the secret was to feed himself more! But a cup of coffee would probably have been a better choice to wash down that doughnut than a Brogue Kick. Also, a loss to Kofi Kingston isn’t doing you any favors Curt. It might be time to brush the powdered sugar off your chin and rethink your game plan.

Tyson Kidd (Velocijakked) last week’s ranking U4 #2

After being beat by Big Zeke last week, Tyson took a respectable, but still momentum killing loss to Rey Mysterio this week. And now, Regal’s offer of advice has turned taunting instead of friendly. If Tyson can get over the “told ya’ so,” treatment that the smug Regal is sure to have waiting, he still might be able to learn a thing or two.

Tensai (Saturday Night Snap Dragon) Last week’s ranking N/R

Tensai chose Ryback to make a statement last week. Do you think he regrets it now? Yeah, us too. Jumping Ryback last week, Tensai got his meat hooked… uh, err. And this week, Tensai was flattened in a straight up one on one match. No wonder Tensai dropped the “Lord.” The only thing he is lord of these days is losing.

Thanks for reading this week’s POWER 15. Check back next week for updated rankings and commentary!
Octopus Mask.